2 Months Home…My Thoughts

Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to take a few minutes to talk about how I am doing far as getting back into the swing of things. That is the normal swing of things in my household. As this Labor Day Holiday blows by ever so rapidly, I realize that my vacation is over this week and it will be back to the everyday Army games. I have been home for about 2 months now and I am still having issues with sleeping, my wife still talks to the kids as if I’m not here (not all the time but enough for me to notice).  We find ourselves wrestling over what side of the bed we are going to sleep on, I finally won the battle with the laptop having a space on my side of the bed, Yes… for the first month of being home I found out that my wife had a thing going on with Mr. Laptop.

After all that  I find myself having to deal with I am thankful. I am thankful that I had a family to come home to, so many soldiers with whom I deployed with are not able to say that. I’m thankful that my relationship with my wife actually grew stronger, yes like any marriage we have our disagreements but we don’t have the drama that is usually associated with being apart for such a long time. There is a untold story of what most military families actually have to endure when their spouse comes home. The feeling that you and your spouse might have grown apart, or the feeling that you don’t have a real purpose in the home because the other spouse has gotten use to doing everything without you.

The major issue that many of us who have deployed multiple times have to deal with is coming to terms with loosing a loved one, and not being able to say goodbye. I lost my aunt and my godmother during this past rotation and since they were not part of my immediate family I could not attend their funerals. To come home and not be able to call them, or just tell them how much I missed them, or just say I love you, really was hard for me. Due to the mission set I wasn’t afforded the time to truly grieve. As soldiers and members of the armed forces we are trained to suppress our emotions and carry on with the mission, the only problem is that when we do come home you have to deal with all those pinned up emotions. With that being said I would like to say in this post to my aunt Ossielane Wade and to my godmother Ruby Bryant that I love you and thank you for all the love you gave me, I miss the both of you…..